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March 17, 2018

Would You Rather...

Let's play a little game:

1. Would you rather (a) have all your wants and needs provided free but die in 10 years or (b) continue your life as it is?

2. Would you rather (a) have no money with total control over your life or (b) be wealthy but without control?

3. Would you rather (a) have sex every day for a year but never again after that or (b) once a month for the rest of your life?

4. Would you rather (a) have a 10/10 spouse that you can't touch or (b) a 3/10 spouse that you get busy with whenever?

5. Would you rather (a) earn $200,000/yr at a job you hate or (b) earn $40,000/yr at a job you love?

Answer (e.g. 1a, 2b, 3a...) in the comments below.

March 15, 2018

Fourteen of My Favourite Stephen Hawking Quotes

  1. I believe alien life is quite common in the universe, although intelligent life is less so. Some say it has yet to appear on planet Earth
  2. People won't have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.
  3. Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
  4. The past, like the future, is indefinite and exists only as a spectrum of possibilities.
  5. I am just a child who has never grown up. I still keep asking these 'how' and 'why' questions. Occasionally, I find an answer.
  6. We are all now connected by the Internet, like neurons in a giant brain.
  7. We are in danger of destroying ourselves by our greed and stupidity. We cannot remain looking inwards at ourselves on a small and increasingly polluted and overcrowded planet.
  8. There is no unique picture of reality.
  9. I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.
  10. Time travel used to be thought of as just science fiction, but Einstein's general theory of relativity allows for the possibility that we could warp space-time so much that you could go off in a rocket and return before you set out.
  11. If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans.
  12. If the rate of expansion one second after the Big Bang had been smaller by even one part in a hundred thousand million million, it would have recollapsed before it reached its present size. On the other hand, if it had been greater by a part in a million, the universe would have expanded too rapidly for stars and planets to form.
  13. We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet.
  14. I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.

March 14, 2018

Should You Get a Dog?

Edit: I've re-read this post and I can see how it might come across as heartless. Let me make a point by saying that my dog is treated well. I'm just venting about the unanticipated burden that I wish someone had warned me about before I got a dog.

Sometimes I wonder when my dog will die.

I'll be sad, for sure. But I'll also feel a sense of relief. Am I an asshole for thinking this? Probably.

My dog is almost 13 years old and she is clearly getting old. She is a great dog and I'm sure she's paid her share of the rent in her own way (burglars tend to skip houses with big guard dogs). But fuck has this dog been a burden. 

This is to all you folks out there considering getting a dog. Think hard about your decision. All seems great when they're a puppy, but then they get older, bigger, crankier, sicker. And costlier.

Here are 4 things they don't tell you when you're about to take on the 10-14 year responsibility of dog ownership:

1. They can become very high maintenance in old age. I can no longer put my dog in a kennel if I'm travelling. The last two times I did, she was so stressed she had the runs for a week, requiring vet visits, medication and me on my hands-and-knees with a toothbrush scraping shit out of from between the floorboards. Dogs need company and need to go out at least 3 times a day. That means someone basically has to live at my house in order for me to go away. This is a pain in the ass to organize with friends and family, and is costly to organize with a professional.

2. My dog's insurance started at $20/mth when she was a puppy. The deal was that the premiums wouldn't rise. Of course, premiums have risen and I'm now paying $80-something a month. Why? Apparently the fine print of the insurance contract stated they could adjust the premiums to account for higher costs of veterinary care. Sounds like bullshit because it is bullshit. But with an older dog, my choices are this insurance or no insurance. And knowing me, the day I cancel my insurance plan is the day my dog breaks a leg requiring $3000 of work. The messed up choice I have to make now is whether I keep paying $80-something a month or cancel the contract and take the risk I might have to put my reasonably healthy, but older dog down if a catastrophic injury or illness were to occur.

3. On top of insurance premiums, it costs a fortune to maintain a dog. Insurance doesn't cover basic healthcare or dental and has a $500 deductible. So common healthcare costs are out of pocket. Of course, there's also the cost of medications, vaccinations, neutering, grooming, boarding, training, books, toys, etc., etc., etc.

4. YOU will be the one always picking up its shit. Yes, I mean you. Your family told you they'd 'help'...well, they just meant with the fun and easy stuff. Nobody wants to pick up the dog's shit. Not even those with an inherent nurturing instinct. Personally, I prefer dog shit to human shit, but it's a chore nonetheless. If your dog lives to 12, you will have to pick up at least 4,380 pieces of shit. Pick anything and do it more than 4,000 times. You'll be fucking great at it! Possibly a master. Is picking up shit the skill you really want to master?

Of course, once you've lived with a dog you'll do all these difficult things because you love the dog. For this reason, there's no going back for most.

Bottom line: think twice before getting a dog.